Thursday, October 20, 2005

They're My Friend...Ok, So No They Aren't My Friend

So there are a few weddings we'll be attending next year (including our own...yes I had to throw that in there again in case you forgot..haha). I was talking to a fellow bride-to-be and we were discussing invite lists. What do you feel about "friends" who you sort of feel obligated to invite, but then again not so much since you've lost touch. Is there like a friendship expiration period? If we haven't talked in several months does that mean they shouldn't be invited? What if I called them last and as of yet have not recieved a call back? We're not talking about super close friends here, just people that were maybe friends of convenience (you had a class together last semester and would hang out outside of school occassionally...that sort of thing).

Also, I'm on the fence about something else too. I suspect and am fairly certain that one such questionable person on the guest list has in the past said some negative things about me. Should I call them on it to clear the air and to help aid in my decision as to whether or not I want them at my wedding? I know they've hidden things from me and just overall haven't reciprocated what I would call "true" friendship. Sean thinks I should just let it go and cut my losses. I don't know though, maybe it's a chick thing, but part of me feels like I have to voice my feelings in order to let this go or move forward with the frienship.

Am I completely overanalyzing? Yes, I know I am.

Btw, I not cool to post once a week. Cut me some slack. The boss is away so work is crazy, mid-terms are insane and last night my professor said, "Yeah...cry me a river" to me. Yes, I'm serious. He's an a$$. And no, this isn't the cute Latin American History Prof who by the way looked super hot in a suit today. The more I think about it, I think his cuteness factor is heavily increased by his intelligence. Oh no, I'm getting soft and all non-superficial. Aaaack! Make it stop! Hahaha!


Blogger Beth said...

i say if they've not reciprocated in the true friend category then cut your losses and move on...but that's just me and we all know i'm not nice *LOL* jk.

10/20/2005 6:29 PM  
Blogger LaLa Lisa said...

Bethers- Yep, you're just an evil bitch! Hahaha! That's why we get along so well. ;o)

10/20/2005 7:14 PM  
Blogger AnoniMs. said...

I honestly would encourage not to invite anyone you are "iffy" about. And a real friend (even one you are not in constant contact with) will support you no matter what you decide....even if that does not include them. I had a friend that only invited her CLOSEST of friends...and, after receiving a very kind call explaining that, I was more than tickled to enjoy the wedding pictures over bottles of wine POST wedding.

10/20/2005 7:30 PM  
Blogger LaLa Lisa said...

Anonims- viewed wedding pics with her afterward? Hmm, see I think I would be a bit upset about not being invited. I mean if you're in touch after the wedding, weren't you before as well? Decisions, decisions. No one told me that this wedding stuff would get so complicated. Darn it! :)

10/20/2005 7:58 PM  
Blogger Bailey's Mom said...

Lis - it all comes down to your budget. You need to start with how many people you can afford to have at your wedding and work from there. If you can afford to have casual acquaintances thats great but more than likely there will be people that you have to cut.

Just take a second to ponder this "would my wedding day be lacking in some way if so-and-so was not there?" If the answer is no - then it isn't that critical that they be there.

10/21/2005 8:43 AM  
Blogger AnoniMs. said...

I was def friends with her before AND after...and as baileys mom said, it ALL came down to budget. And I was very sympathetic to that being a soon-to-be-bride as well. I really believe a true friend understands....of course that is just my liberal opinion...
PS It was great to talk to you...can not wait to see you guys....

10/21/2005 10:44 AM  
Blogger West Coast Mia said...

Wedding guest lists are so hard to plan. I say if you haven't spoken to them in months then don't invite them. If they are mature adults they will understand that on your budget you invited people you associate with on a regular basis. Especially if in the past you called them and they never returned that call then I would hope they wouldn't even expect to be invited. Our friends are getting married and they are having the hardest time picking the wedding party. The groom was a best man at his friends wedding 5 years ago. He feels that he has to have that guy as his best man now. We are all telling him no because he doesn't want him to be his best man. They are not as close anymore and he has another friend who he is close with and feels he would be the perfect fit. Do what makes you happy and what your budget allows. This is one day you can't ever change or take back so worry about you and Sean only. Everyone else will support you no matter what you decide. If they don't then they aren't worth your time anyway's because this isn't their day and they are just selfish.

10/21/2005 11:46 AM  
Blogger KjerstenGreg said...

I agree with bailey's mom. In my online researching, that's exactly how they say you should determine your guest list. They also say that "we are having a small wedding and couldn't afford to invite everyone" would be your most frequently used phrase.

10/21/2005 12:40 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

kjersten: I just visited your wedding blog and noticed your last name. hubby's 2nd great grandmother's maiden name was the same as yours, she was from denmark and came to Utah where she met and married his 2nd gr. grandfather..sorry, couldn't resist commenting on it, ha ha.

sorry for the hijack lis *LOL*

10/21/2005 1:41 PM  
Blogger LaLa Lisa said...

E- I know, I keep asking myself that but I go back and forth. I'm so indecisive. :)

Anonims- Your call was a very unexpected and nice suprise. I hope next Friday lunch ends up working out. We haven't seen you in forever! Lots of catching up to do.

Mia- So that means Grams falls in the selfish category, huh? Hehe. :) Hey, if we don't laugh at them, they'll make us crazy!

K- See, I sort of translate that as hey, you ain't worth my buck! hehe. Just kidding, no I see the point. But I would think that phrase would fly more with like coworkers that you chat with at the office.

Bethers- Sheesh, always gotta be the center of attention woman! :) This is no trace your geneaology blog! Step off woman! hahahahaha. Besides, Kjersten is way too normal and sane to be related even distantly to John-John. Hehehe.

10/21/2005 5:48 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

Lis- I'm sorry I guess I misread the title to the blog :P ... trust me, most of John's relatives distant or otherwise are too sane and normal to be related to him too, but*t happens sometimes *LOL* jk ..but think about it..both are blonde haired and blue spooooky :P

10/21/2005 6:33 PM  
Blogger LaLa Lisa said...

Kjersten- Run far and run fast! haha.

Bethers- So does it appear that the kids inherited your somewhat normal-ness? Hehe! :)

10/22/2005 7:38 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

Lis, yeah something like that *LOL* .... they both have a lot of John's quirks, so they're not completely home free...even Zoe showing signs of goofiness already *sighs*..i try, i really do,but it's hard being the only normal one in the house *sobs* :P

10/22/2005 11:14 AM  
Blogger Zube Girl said...

The guest list is by far, the hardest part about wedding planning. We invited local single friends w/out allowing random guests, which maybe is a no no, but everyone was pretty cool about it. We put the word out that if anyone started dating someone between the time they received the invitation and the wedding, to let us know.

Anyway, one couple broke up a month and a half before the wedding (we were friends with the guy) so we figured his girlfriend wouldn't be coming. We found out a month before the wedding that she was planning on coming with another couple. She was friends with the girlfriend of another one of our guy friends.

Did that make sense? Anyway, I gave in. Even though she was only invited as a date of our friend, and not explicitly named on the invitation. She even saw us at the grocery store and said, "Oh, I'll see you at the wedding!" Which irritated me because she was essentially saying that she had no intentions of seeing us within the three weeks before, because we were friends in that capacity.

People can be incredibly rude. Oh shit. This is your blog! Sorry! :-)

Just commisserating.

10/23/2005 9:45 AM  
Blogger LaLa Lisa said...

Zube- *lol* Your comments were so fitting after this past weekend we had. I think after the experience we just had we learned everything NOT to do for a wedding. Don't apologize. I love a good vent-fest. :)

10/23/2005 6:56 PM  

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