Thursday, September 29, 2005

Poems for the Potty & Bad Puppy Parents

So I had to leave at 7:15 today for a meeting at 9 a.m. thanks to good 'ol DC area traffic. I decided to make a quick run to the restroom before my meeting began and was suprised to see that they had provided plenty of reading material. There were two notes taped to the back of the stall door. There was a little something for everyone.

Note 1:
If you Sprinkle when you Tinkle...
Please be Neat and wipe the Seat

Note 2:
Look this isn't a rest stop bathroom or a bathroom off of I-95. If you leave a wet spot, clean it up. If you don't who do you think is going to? Your mom isn't going to come clean up YOUR mess. It is RUDE and Unprofessional and Ignorant. Wipe up your wetness. Don't be RUDE!

Um, can we say split personality disorder. I always knew this particular company hired a bunch of overwound yuppie freaks! :)

On Another Note....

So I get home and am greeted by an email that left me extremely PISSED! Sean has had a rough week as well. So we decided to go out for dinner and drinks. We're barely out of our neighborhood when we see a doggy all alone running down the sidewalk. Of course I had Sean pull over and luckily I was able to coax the dog into coming up to me. He was a cute little Chow/Shepherd mix male (with um..all his parts in tact). I sat there with him while Sean drove around to see if there were any frantic owners looking for him. We tried to get him in the truck to drive him back to our house, but he was not happy about being put in a car. So Sean continued his driving around while I walked the dog to our house. We got home and put him in the backyard. I got him some water and treats. Sean was not keen on the idea of letting Baden play with him, but I thought it was ok. I mean the dog looked healthy and well taken care of. He obviously had owners, he knew commands. Long story short, he and Baden got on really well and chased each other and played for an hour and a half, then Animal Control showed up. The lady wasn't very comforting. I wanted to make sure the dog wouldn't be put down and to find out how long the owners would have to find him and how we could check on his status, etc. The dog will be there for 11 days at which time since he's a friendly guy he'd be put up for adoption. We have the option of adopting him too, get first dibs, if we contact them on the 11th day. I'm going to keep checking up on him to make sure his owners claim him. If not, well...we'll have to see where we go from there. Maybe Sean will let me have another pup. It was great seeing Baden so happy and having so much fun. Oh, did I mention that I cried after the dog left and drank wine? Yes, I'm a tad emotional. I really wanted to keep him with us and look for the owner. But Sean had a good point, that the first place the owners will look is the shelter. I just keep picturing him alone in a cage. Poor guy. F**kin people. If you're going to own a pet, then keep an eye on it and stop letting your animals run around without an ID and tags you damn morons!! Animals are just as innocent and helpless as children and deserve to be protected and watched over.

I'm so irate! This is lost doggy #3 we've found in the neighborhood and we've only lived hear about a year and a half. What the hell is wrong with people? How do you not notice your dog is missing? I'd be hysterical if Baden were to get out and wouldn't rest until he was back home safe with us.

Btw, I took pics of Baden and the Mystery Chow...I'll post them tomorrow.

I So Have Juicy Laguna Beach Gossip!!!

So I stumbled across this great gossip website. Hey, I was doing school research...yeah, um...that's it. :)

It's gives the scoop on LB and why everyone was ignoring Jessica during the Cabo Trip. So you thought her and Jason were BUSTED while kissing. Oh no, my dears! Let's just say she got caught with a mouthfull. Read more juicy details here.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

F**kers Got Me Again!!

All day I was soo excited for 8 p.m. tonight. Why you ask? Well, I'll tell you- the Season Premiere of One Tree Hill. The second season left off with so many unanswered questions and cliffhangers. Was Dan burned in fire? Will Jake come back with the baby and will Nikki get what's coming to her? Will Karen really go to New Zealand to bring her illegal hottie back? What will happen with Brooke and Lucas now that they're divorcing in real life? I was so looking forward to them finally getting back together, but obviously the whole divorce thing throws a wrench in those plans dammit! And what about Nathan and Haley....will they bring her back already? Sheesh! And the wanna-be-rocker-with-the-bad-hair Chris will he hopefully get run over by a tour bus? Is Ellie really Payton's mom and if so um why isn't she dead? Where are Keith and Jules...hopefully they're off somewhere knocking boots. They deserve some fun. These are the things I must know now!!

Turns out the damn season premiere isn't until next week. Whose dumb ass idea was it to wait until October to bring it back? That's just too long folks...get your head out of your a$$, will ya? And while you're at it...bring back Joan of Arcadia because things were really starting to get interesting. God vs. Devil...doesn't get any higher stakes than that? These network bigwigs know nothing! Let me in that seat and I'll show ya good tv. :)

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Burger-Butt's a Rome-a-Maniac

Sean is such a nerd! He's addicted to new HBO show Rome. So much so that he just admitted to me that he posted a message on their website. Why the sudden urge to join a message board? Well folks, he was extremely dismayed by the fact that someone would have the nerve to call the show "boring". My first question was...well why would they go to the website of a show they found boring, let alone post on the message board. Anyways, here is my honey's little contribution to the nerdy Rome Community. Hehe. :)

Here Speaks Seanicus-Maximus:

"These episodes have several different plots developing. I would suggest patience. I'd also be curious to know which one you find particularly boring. The complexity of these plots may turn off the casual viewer but once you become "involved" with these characters, they are difficult to turn a blind eye to. It seems to me that both the acting and scenery is excellent. Where is the boredom in power struggle, infidelity, love, hate, deceit, sex, and murder? This show really has it all!"

And he makes fun of me for watching Laguna Beach and Real World....At least I'm not posting messages or visiting their website. Although, I really would like to know where Kristen gets all her cute outfits. And did you all know that Talan briefly dated Linday Lohan?!?! I know....really he did! How did he even meeet LL?

Monday, September 26, 2005

Take Me Out To A Ballgame!

In my earlier attempt to release massive amounts of stress and paranoia, I forgot to tell you about the fun we had this weekend. Yes, Burger-Butt and I were social! Imagine that. :) Kjersten and her (soon to be fiance...yeah!)Greg invited us to a Nationals Game. We had a blast! These two are so much fun to hang out with. It had been a few months since we last went out with them and we definitely need to do it more often. We ate at Hop's Brewery and the food was so yummy! They bring out these scrumptious frosting drizzled croissants for you to snack on while you browse the menu. They brought us six of them, but by the time K and Greg got there we had wolfed down four. Sorry K! Ok, in actually it was mostly me who was devouring them, but Sean did help a little. It was quite the adventure trying to find RFK Stadium, but eventually we made it there. Hey, part of the DC experience is getting hopelessly lost and crossing multiple state lines. Hehe. I've never had so much fun at a game and really it very little do with the actual game and moreso with the company. K and I wandered around a bit and ended up buying DC hats. I'm quite bitter that she looked much better in her's than I did in mine. I so do not have a hat head. Oh, and she has a fabulous new haircut, so you should go to her site and demand that she post a pic of her new sassy 'do. Anyways, it was such a fun night and Sean and I actually managed to stay up past 11pm. Woohoo, we're not old farts...just yet!

K...thanks for the tatoo!

Knot in the Pit of my Stomach

Ok, so we already know that I'm an anxiety-ridden worry wart, hence the need for massive amounts of Zoloft. I worry about anything and everything. I know, it's silly and pointless, but I can't help it. Trust me, I've tried to be the type of person who just goes with the flow or takes each day as it comes, but it doesn't work. However, I do think I'm much better now than when Sean and I first started dating. He admitted to me over the weekend that I used to drive him nuts with my obsessive worrying when we were first together. I think having him in my life as a calming and steadfast source of support has helped, but the potential to be a nervous wreck is still always there just waiting under the surface.

My current object of nervous obsession may be a legitimate one though. I don't know, you all tell me. Today, Sean begins work on a new project today that will have him working at the Pentagon. Now we all know what happened at the Pentagon and that it's a high profile building. I, myself, have had to go there on several occasions for business or work meetings. It always makes me a bit uneasy when I'm in a location where there's a need for soldiers armed with machine guns to be walking around. Call me a freak, but I just prefer to work in a non-weapon-carrying building. I know, I know...they're trained to use them and it's a preventative measure. Blah, blah, blah. It just wierds me out a bit. And I learned quickly to wear my badge around my neck or collar in clear view of the scary GI Joe men. Ok, I'm so rambling...another sign of nervousness. Anyways, I know the likelihood of another tragedy occurring there is minimal and that it's probably better protected than 95% of the potential targets of terrorists. However, that security was breached once and living in the DC area I was able to witness the devastation and destruction firsthand. I could never work there personally because I'm a big scaredy cat. Also, knowing that I was working in a building where so many had lost their lives would just wear on me emotionally and mentally. Yes, I'm quite fragile...so shut it! :) Sean has strict instructions to call me immediately if anything strange or an evacuation takes place there. I know that he's probably safer there than on the roads in DC with all the crazy drivers we have around here. He's my family though- the man I want to build my life, who I want to grow old with and have cute little (Liberal Democrat...shh!) babies with. So other than downing my daily dose of Zoloft with some wine- how do I quell these feelings of uneasiness? Sorry for the book ya'll...but it's my blog so I can ramble.

Updated to Add: Why does it smell like drunk-spicy hot wings puke in my office? Eeeew...gross!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

West Coast Mia Gets Another Year Wiser!

Ahh, my big sis...today is her bday. And as such, I had to write a seperate post full of sappiness just for her. First though, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MORIA!!! I love ya sweetie. And I especially love that you'll always be older than me. Haha!

So many things to thank you for....
- Taking me in oh-too-many-times-to-count.
- Not saying "I Told You So" even when it was warranted.
- Keeping me sane through our childhood.
- Being one of the strongest, sweetest, best-hearted and bravest women I know.
- Standing up to our Mom for me countless times.
- Always fighting for me and being in my corner.
- Being such a mischievious teenager and breaking in the grandparents for me.
- Teaching me how to swipe money from you-know-who without her noticing. (No, I will not go in to details. This was bad, very bad.)
- Dating so many hotties as a teenager, it always made for good eye candy.
- Being my source of strength and comfort more times than I can count.
- Having Jasper who was one of the sweetest and cutest dogs ever! And now I have my niece Cheyanne.
- Introducing me to the beautiful scenic area that is Monterey.
- Having the wits, courage and good humor to live in the same city as some of our family. And you've stayed sane which is no small feat.
- Just being one hell of a kick ass chick who I am proud to call my sister and can't imagine this world without.

What I don't thank you for....
- Being the only one who was sneaky enough to know how to find me when I ran away.
- Getting more than your fair share of the pretty genes. :)
- Never following me across country so you could live nearby and visit often.
- Dragging my scantily clothed self back in the house and making me put more clothes on before I went to the mall. I blame the hoochie girl..Christina...who happened to be my side kick at the time.
- Becoming friends with Crack-Head Hooker Terri who lived in our Apartment Complex.
- Teaching me to use cooking oil to tan with. Thank God we only did that for one summer.
- Not learning how to cook or pick up after yourself until after we stopped living together.

**Don't forget to read the post that follows...I have a surprise for you my dears!**

Second Round of Your Q's...And A Surprise

Yes, I am alive...barely though. The past several days have been a blur of wedding details, reading massive amounts of textsbooks, multiple papers due and culminated in a huge exam. Oh, and work fit in there somewhere.

So better late than never...here's round 2 of the Q&A session. Courtesy the sassy Zube Girl:

1. What is your favorite swear word, and why?
Ok, not sure if this is a swear word...but I call Sean it all the time...ha! It's Penishead. I don't know why. Runner up is Fuck. Nothing releases tension like screaming FUCK at the top of your lungs!

2. Do you hit the snooze button in the morning, and if so, how many times?
Nope, never hit the snooze button. Not me. Before you get the wrong idea and think I'm a morning person or something. The reason why I don't hit it is because I never hear it. I've slept through it all when a house down the street caught fire and exploded and fire trucks with blaring sirens were passing by all night.

3. What color do you absolutely despise?
I can not stand anything that's neon-ish. Oh, and pink. So there will be no pink at our wedding. All of it just reminds me of Pepto Bismol. Yuck! Too frilly.

By way of my favorite Fashionista AnoniMs.:

1) Dream job??? (I THINK I may know the answer to this...but as we discuss work a lot, I thought I would ask)
I think K asked this before...see below please cause I'm a lazy mofo!

2) How many kids and when?
I'd love to have lots and lots of kids if we could afford them. But we'd be adopting, no way I'm giving birth to more than two. Reality says it'll probably be two. Confession though, I'm so terrified of having a boy. Girls, I understand and now how their minds/moods work. But I have no insight into the male mind...it perplexes me and disturbs me in so many ways. Haha. The clock is already ticking...quite loudly by the way. So maybe within a year and a half or two after we marry. If Sean had his way it'd be like five years. *lol* So we'll split the difference.

3) If you could ONLY buy shoes or purses, what would you buy???
If I stuff the shoes into the purse is that cheating? I'd have to say shoes. I love me some shoe shopping! Not to mention, you can leave home without a purse. I know, not likely, but you could do it. But leave home without cute shoes....Never!

Phew...this just felt like Exam #2 of tonight. Haha. Just kidding. Thanks for the great questions ladies!

Now on to the Suprise of the Evening.....I Have....Yes, I do....I'm in Possession of....Yeppers, I bought over the weekend.....A Fabulous...Beautiful...Fits Quite Nicely...Paid half the regular price for it....Have I built the suspense up enough yet?????????????????? It's a Wedding Dress!!! Eeek, does this mean I have to marry Burger-Butt now? :)

I finally found a pic of my wedding dress on-line. (Sean, look away...you promised!!) I don't think these photos do it justice, but I haven't had a chance yet to take my own pics yet. I know, I know...I will. Patience my dears! (Um, Elise...that is the same dress as mine, right? Damn different style numbers keep throwing me off! hehe.)

(Please ignore any typos as I'm cross-eyed by this point.)

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Only Two Takers? Damn, See if I Proposition You Again!

These questions come by way of one of my favorite bloggers and Southern Sweetie Pie, Painting Chef.

-Looking back 10 years, where are you compared to where you thought you'd be?

At 16, I had just been pretty much kicked out of the house by my "mother" (I use the term loosely). I decided to do home studies for the latter part of my senior year so I could graduate early and start working full-time so my wonderful big sis Mia wouldn't have to support her kid sis for long. Back then my expectations were fairly low, I just wanted to be able to afford rent and food other than Taco Bell. I totally kicked ass with that plan. I think the thing that suprises me most is that I'm a homeowner. Me? From a family of perpetual renters...I own a home. Ok, so Sean owns it too. But it's still mine all mine and I'm not paying someone else's mortgage. Yippee! I was hoping though that I'd be done with school by now. I've been working on my Bachelors for the past 4+ years and am only half way there due to credits not transferring from California and work getting in the way. I'll get there though...eventually. I'll probably graduate with my future kids. Haha!


- If you could only listen to three CDs for the rest of your life, what would they be?

Hmmm, that's tough. No laughing at my response either. Probably the Journey greatest hits cd (hey, scoff if you will but 80's music rocks). And my latest addiction is the new Josh Groban cd. And...Savage or as Miss Nikki likes to call them Sappy Garden. Hehe. Oh shit, jut remembered I couldn't live without my Evanescence. Ok, I guess Journey has to go.

- What's the worst you've ever screwed someone over?

Hmm, intentional or unintentional? I think I'll have to go with unintentional because I can't think of an example of the other. I'd have to say that Hubby #1, we'll call him J (yes for those of you who didn't know I've been once married before) got more than he bargained for. I was so young, only 19 when we married, and so naive. I came from a family of complete chaos, insanity and evilness (yes, I was actually thrilled when my parents said they were divorcing because it meant that I wouldn't have to watch them beat the crap out of eachother any more). I didn't know who I was, let alone how to be someone's wife. I panicked when the rough times surfaced and ran without really giving the marriage or J a fair shot. I was just so terrified that at some point, this man who put me on a pedestal would realize how stupid that was and how I so wasn't worthy and I didn't want to be abandoned again. So this time, I did the leaving. I was such a bundle of raw scared angry nerves that I couldn't deal with my own pain let alone see someone else's, but I still regret having caused him any hurt or sadness. And despite numerous mistakes on both parts, we came out fairly unscathed. He's still one of the people I respect most in the world and he truly deserves to have a happy, fulfilling life. We're still friends though and know that if push came to shove, we'd have each other's back. Alas, I grew up, attended therapy for several years, got on Zoloft and poof, suddenly I'm capable of having a normal, healthy relationship. (Oh, and it helps that Sean understands and accepts my craziness and has perfected a careful balancing between tolerating it and putting me in my place when need be...hehe.)

Kjersten (who recently lost 7 pounds, count them 7...GO K!) asked...

-What would your ideal job be like?
I'd love to have a job that allowed me to travel to exotic and tropical places where I'd get to participate in and learn about local life and customs. Oh, and it would allow me to bring Baden Pup and Tigger Kitty with me. Ok, ok..Sean too because I need some eye candy too. It would allow me to meet and play with local wildlife too. I so want swim with dolphins! I also always thought party planning or interior design would be fun. And I'm not greedy, but it would pay well enough that we could live comfortably and could afford to splurge every so often. Also, it would be lucrative enough that we could afford to start up our own business. It would probably do something computer-techie-geeky-related since Sean's smart like that.

-What is your favorite book?

People always put something that flaunts there intelligence here. I'm tempted to fib and do the same. :) Actually, I'd have to say To Kill a Mockingbird. It's one of the few books in high school that I was actually glad I was forced to read. I love Scout! Other than that...do US Weekly and People count? Hehe.

-If you HAD to choose one celebrity to marry, who would it be?

So, so easy....Matthew McConaughey. Need I explain? Ok, first the Southern Charm / Gentleman vibe, the body (the only good thing about Sahara), the sexy eyes and sly smile. His confidence..such a turn on. Can I really only pick one? Damn!

Monday, September 12, 2005

Ask and You Shall Receive

A fews days ago I posed a couple of questions to Kjersten. She held up her end of the deal and answered them, so now it's my turn. So here's how it works:

1. Ask me 3 questions. Any 3, no matter how personal, private or random.

2. I have to answer them honestly. I have to answer them all.

3. In turn, post this message on your blog and answer all questions asked of you.

Ready, Set...Ask Away My Pretties! I'm excited to see what you all come up with. If you don't have a blog of your own, but still want to ask questions, feel free. In exchange all I ask is that you buy me ice cream or doughnuts! :)

**One rule, I'm fair game...but I won't divulge anyone else's dirty laundry. (I had to put this disclaimer up so Sean doesn't go into panic mode. Haha!)**

Weekend Warrior

So to summarize this weekend, I kicked ass in all things wedding-related thanks to my handsome fiance and Miss Ang. On Saturday, Ang and I went to a bridal shoppe where I tried on five, yes count them, five wedding dresses. That's a lot of work people! Those things are heavy and poofy and hot! There was one that Ang really liked, but nothing really caught my eye. Ok, what's up with the rooms with three way mirrors? Like I really need to see the cellulite on my thighs from three diffent angles. Thanks! Such the ego booster. So this led to cranky, bitter Lisa who started to rethink having ate fried shrimp, shrimp scampi and lots of garlic cheesy biscuits at Red Lobster earlier that day. So we have roughly a little more than 11 months until W-day. I can do this...I can tone up my flabby wing like upper arms, get buns of steel rather than saggy tush that touches the back of my legs, and vanish the squishy love handles. I can do this people, right? Do you think I'll have to exercise or give up sweets? ;-) I did get on the elliptical Friday night, haven't been on it since, but hey baby steps. Oh, and I did pick a bridesmaid dress and color. I tried the dress on myself since Ang had been raving about how flattering the style was. She was so right! If I could wear this dress for my walk down the aisle I so would. :) What you mean I can't match my bridal party? Why not? It's my day!

After leaving the bridal shoppe, we made what turned into a two hour excursion into Michaels. God, I love that store!
- Cardstock for the Save the Date announcements with matching ribbon (all on clearance)...check!
- Invitation cardstock, vellum, ribbon, envelopes, (partially on clearance) etc...check!
- Seating place cards...check.
- Ideas for centerpiecies...lots and lots.

Sunday, Sean dragged me to the Bridal Showcase. Hehe! Talk about an overwhelming, out-of-body experience. The parking lot was full, inside the convention center was wall-to-wall people, and vendors were tightly packed together. Did I mention the two floors of vendors? Our eyes glazed over and our mouths dropped open. But being the little troopers that we are, we braved it. We threw elbows to get cake samples (ok, so I did even though we already have our cake picked out). We got business cards, pamphlets, posters, pens, buttons, samples, and other goodies from tons of folks which Sean went through and organized all of it last night. (No, you can't have him, he's mine.) It only took the poor guy four or five hours. I know, my honey rocks! We picked out some possible tuxes for Sean and the groomsmen and struck a deal with The Men's Wearhouse. My babe will be stylin. Oh, and we picked the ceremony song. Or I think we have since Sean downloaded it last night and has been playing it over and over and over. No, really I don't mind. I'm not at all tired of hearing Canon in D repeatedly. It's fine honey! We felt so productive as we dragged our exhausted bodies out to the car. Although, I think Sean was disappointed that I absolutely refused to wear the cheesy heart-shaped "Bride to Be" button that they were giving out as you came through the entrance. Yes, I'm excited about my impending nuptials, but that's a bit much.

So you may be wondering with all this productive energy going towards the wedding plans, however did I find time for homework. The answer is, I didn't. That is until last night. So of course, I was up late feverishly reading and taking notes. And now this morning my sweets, I am utterly exhausted. But yet I still somehow mustered the energy to jot down this book of an entry for you fine folks, because I am that devoted. Ok, maybe it's because I'm procrasting on starting my work day. :)

Thursday, September 08, 2005

I Love Pretty Blinking Blog Buttons!

Check out my new blog blinkers to the right in the About Me section. Are they not the coolest? Woot! I love the bottom blinkie! It's a bit crude, but so darn funny. The best part...Sean is so embarassed I put it up there. Hehe. Sorry honey! I love you...but it's MY blog. So there! :)

So I got stuck watching the Raiders vs. Patriots Game with Sean because I was in the living room on the elliptical and he happened to be in there watching football and working on his fantasy football team. Obviously there were two quite different viewing experiences going on.
Sean: C'mon Brady...throw the ball. C'mon throw the damn ball!
Lisa: C'mon Tom Brady...show me your butt. C'mon bend over so I can get a nice view of your tush!

Come Out, Come Out Wherever You Are

Ok, so I keep seeing my site visit numbers go up and when I check my stats I see an influx of unique new visitors, but we're doing weak on the comments you all. If you stop by, feel free to just say hi or dazzle us with a witty response (just don't upstage me...kidding). Seriously, I won't bite. This is more fun if you all provide some feedback and thoughts.

Also, for those of you who don't often scroll to the bottom of the site, you may have missed the sign up icon for NotifyList.com. It's pretty simple, just enter in your email address and you'll receive an email notice whenever a this site is updated with a new post.

So I should find out tomorrow if we got the Sept 15 date or if we'll just have to be happy with our Aug 25 date. Either way, we're still on for Meadowlark. Now, anyone know a good caterer? :) We're going to our first Bridal showcase this weekend. Ok, am I strange or non-girly because I'm not all that excited about it? It's almost sort of like just another item on my to-do list that keeps taunting me and reminding of how much work still lies ahead. Sean so far is being a good sport about going. I told him if I have to suffer he does too. Ha! :) A bit of irony, the bridal show is being held at my University. Yeah, so I have to go to school this weekend. Nice, eh? I think God is upstairs laughing at me and saying neener, neener, neener.

Also, I meant to post about this yesterday. Dirty Dog Dave, who has been noticely absent as of late, I think it's because he's on a serious mission to find a nice piece of a--. Oh, I mean a nice wife. Hehe. Now on a serious note, Dave was flying out yesterday for work to one of the Katrina disaster areas. Davey-pooh, you're in my prayers and I know you'll do good work out there. Just remember you're there to work, not to flirt shamelessly. Hmm, do you think we should start placing bets on how many single, young, attractive women he'll offer a place to stay to? Hehe.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

My Baby is Lucky He's Got Back

So we're watching that show 'So You Think You Can Dance' and apparently Sean can't watch it without feeling the need to get his little groove on. *lol* Honey, I love you....but rhythm just ain't your thing. Now my sweetie was an equal opportunity dater. So I've come to the conclusion that the black women he dated must have been willing to overlook his shaking-his-money-maker-challenged-ways since the boy has BACK! Yes, you heard me right. Seanie Burger Butt has buns of steel. Think bubble butt perfection. His booty is perkier than any person's butt has a right to be. Yes, I'll admit...I'm envious. I wish mine was more round than wide. *sigh* I'm telling ya, you could so bounce a quarter off his a$$. Trust me, I've tried and it works.

Welcome to the World Baby Blkhmster....Now on to the Cat Fight!

So the always entertaining, constant commenter and full of great snark Bethers was scheduled to have her baby girl today! Isn't it so exciting? This is #3 and hopefully will be smaller than cutie-pie big boy baby #2 was. I have no idea how she gave birth to a baby that big, but Beth you're a better woman than me! :) Enjoy your very last time in childbirth (if that's possible...hehe). I can't wait to meet the newest addition to your family. I'm sure she'll be just as adorable as Miss K.

Day 3 of the wedding day site watch has been fairly peaceful. Sean still wants to get married at Meadowlark which is good because I really wasn't looking forward to having to rip off his legs and watching the remaining stump trail blood through the house or running him over with the car. Besides, if he weren't around then I'd have dog poop duty (eeew), when Baden eats strings or other disgusting foreign objects I'd have to be the one to pull them from his rear and I'd have to pay the mortgage on my own. Yuck! So see that Sean does come in handy at times. ;) (Love ya honey...hehe.)

So nothing makes you feel like an old hag like going back to college and being around a bunch of skanky, often hungover, whiny, hoochie momma, "I'm-A-Blonde-With-A-Brain T-shirt-wearing always perky youngsters. And if I hear "Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm going to be 22...like oh-my-god that's so old...and I can't wear clothes with suggestive phrases on them anymore. Like all my fun is over now...what's the point." Do you think it's awful that I day dream of spilling my plain coffee on their too-tiny-baby-tee wearing selves. Yes, I have coffee during the afternoon sometimes (because us old folks need caffeine to stay awake for the entire day and we can't have the fancy drinks all the time because...well they are fattening and now every single thing I eat sticks itself to my body and becomes another cellulite dimple on my ass or attaches itself to my ever expanding mid-section). I also daydream of taking away of all their sparkly glitter makeup. That stops being cute after fifth grade. Hehe. Oh, and if I hear one more person with Jessica Simpson's These Boots are Made for Walking as their ring tone, I'm seriously going to yank the phone from their perfectly manicured with bubble gum pink painted hands and stomp on it with my ever-so-stylish high heel shoe because those of us schmucks who actually have to earn money to pay for education can't wear flip flops every day. Some of us actually have to play grown up even if we'd so rather not. *sigh*

Think this rant means it's time for a vacation? I do, I do!

Monday, September 05, 2005

Why Do Men So Often Revert Back to Their Pre-Puberty Mindset?

Ok, so both these scenes took place in the kitchen.

Lunchtime today, I'm at the kitchen sink when Sean comes up behind and puts his butt against mine...and proceeds to let out multiple farts and then proceeds to snicker. Yes, I know...completely disgusting and juvenile. (But hey...did you see the ring he got me?!?)

Just a few minutes ago...I'm peering in the refrigerator looking for the package of salad when he slides up besides me and again relieves himself of some excess gas. Yes, my friends...welcome to daily life in our household. (Again, I have to say...the ring it's gorgeous in all it's sparkly prettiness.) Haha!

Of course, Sean is denying the above events ever occurred and is snidely requesting that I instead focus on the dinner he is currently preparing. Again, he's such a Diva!

Sean's lame attempt at interrupting me from posting this was to ask me if I could give Baden Pup food and water. I replied, "Sure, once I'm done posting". Sean's response, "Oh, fine...I see blabbing to the internet is SOOO more important than your dog, hear that Baden...Mommy doesn't love you". Hmm...can we say Drama Queen?

We Have a Site, Unless Sean Changes His Mind (Again)

We have (dare I say) a wedding site. Now, keep in mind this could change because my honey loved the place at first and then yesterday asked if we could "talk" (I know..never a good thing) and was re-thinking whether or not we should hold the wedding at this place. What, are you out of mind?? Are you trying to make me beat you over the head with a very hard object? I must have not heard you right Sean because you have to realize that I'm in a fragile state and just one step away from packing us a bag and heading to Vegas!

We did hold a date at this place, it's August 25, 2006. However, we're hoping September 15 becomes available. If not, it's not that big a deal. Either one is late enough in the summer and given that the event will take place on a Friday evening, hopefully humidity will be at minimum. Because I'm in no way amused by the thought of sporting a frizzy, puff-puff hair style that looks like a tribute to Macy Gray at my wedding. I'm warning my curly q's now just in case they're tempted to misbehave and stage a mutiny on my wedding day. I'll be having none of that! You hear me hair?!?! Yes, I'm having conversations with my hair and I realize this means I'm insane. I knew this already...if you didn't...well you must be a newbie. :)

Anyways, I'm quite pleased that it appears we're back in agreement that the wedding will be held at the Meadowlark Botanical Gardens. Thank God, because I'm so burned out on visiting sites and gathering information and cost proposals. Yuck, bleh! I want to get on to the fun stuff like eating cake, dress shopping and picking out pretty flowers. Seriously though...I wonder how many people break up during the wedding planning process because it is a huge pain in the ass! I thought the home searching/purchasing process was quite the relationship test; however, I think this wedding stuff has far surpassed the pain house hunting caused us.

So I'll leave you with the Atrium which is where the actual reception will be held. I wish there were more pics on the website and of course we forgot to take the camera. Oh well, we'll be making another visit soon to take lots of pics for the scrapbook. I'll post them then.

If She Wasn't Pregnant, I'd So Take Her Out for Drinks!

I'm so excited. I have a wonderful new blog design thanks to the fabulous, generous and oh-so-talented Miss Zoot! It was luck of the draw baby and I happened to respond in time, hence my sassy and sexy new blog look. I felt like I had hit the lotto! :) Thanks again Miss Zoot! I love my new look, so much so that I have been playing with it all morning and not doing any of the homework that I so should have been working on. I keep touching the monitor screen and saying..."Oooh, pretty...pretty! Eeek! I may have finally lost it.

Wedding Update: We may have a site and date...or do we? Still not sure on that one! I think Sean is trying to destroy the little tidbit of sanity I had left.

Friday, September 02, 2005

The last 24 hours....all things P-related

So I've had a great start to the Labor Day Weekend. Last night I developed a nasty tummy ache and dizzy spell in the middle of the night. This was followed by a fun orange juice induced puke fest. Yes, I know nice image. ;) So this morning I got in the shower for work, not a good idea because I barely made it through it without passing out. This was followed by a mini nap and when I awoke I was greeted to the sight of puppy puke. (I think Baden is having sympathy sickness cause he loves me that much.) So I clean that up and Baden and I lay down for another nap. He laid in bed with me for a little while, but then wandered back downstairs. I thought it was a bit odd since usually he's my partner in crime when it comes to marathon nap sessions. Well, I realized why as soon as I woke up again and came downstairs. I was greeted by the foulest aroma I've ever smelled. We had another accident. This time on the throw rug in the living in the form of two big piles of poop. Yeah, cause that's really what a girl whose feeling nauseous wants to have to clean up. Luckily I made it through the clean up process without losing any of my stomach's contents again. However, despite cleaning it with massive amounts of Pet Enzyme cleaner, Resolve Carpet Cleaner, and soap I still can't totally get rid of the odor. I have ten candles burning in here and nothing. It still smells like sh*t. I have the back door open and that's not helping much either. Sean is going to take the carpet cleaner to it when he gets home, but that's not for several hours. So I may just quarantine myself to the upstairs where it doesn't smell like a stinky farm. Hope ya'll are having a better start to the long weekend.

If you have any suggestions on how to remove the stinky stench, let me know. Ok...it's nap time. I've had more fun than any sick girl can handle.

Updated to Add: I almost locked myself out of the fu*ckin house. The UPS guy dropped off my package a good distance from the front door. I tried to just close the door enough that Baden wouldn't be able to pry it free with his nose, but not so much that it shut. Well, the damn door shut! Thank God, I had the back door open to air out the downstairs. I was able to get into the backyard and come in through the back door. Wow, I could have been sitting outside, shoeless, no make-up on, no bra on for the next six hours until Sean got home. Now that would have really sucked!! This tells me that today is a day for laying in bed and pulling the covers up over your head and blocking out the outside world. :)