Thursday, July 28, 2005

Theft, Gas Station Asshats & Gram's Gone Crazy

Sit down and buckle up cause we got a wide array of topics to cover ya'll.

Ok, so we've established how sometimes Sean gets the brunt of the moody, Zoloft-deficient rants of yours truly. So now let's take a moment to talk about some of the trials I endure because of my honey. On our last grocery shopping trip, I bought a snack pack of various cereals. Well, there were only a few in there that I actually eat. Sean was devouring them with the speed of light as he usually does with food. So I hid the Apple Jacks in our pantry buried behind several rolls of paper towels. Guess what? The little sh*t found and ate them. He claims that he didn't realize I was "saving" them. Really? Why else would they be hidden and buried and not near all the other cereal? Strike # 2- He complains non-stop about how Tigger Kitty drops the foulest stink bombs. Which, ok, granted he does. However, does it ever occur to my honey that he too is capable of scooping out a litter box? Nope, not yet at least! Strike 3- The shoes! Oh my gosh ya'll he leaves a little trail of dirty Seanie clothes and shoes throughout the house. They're in the hall entryway, the living room, the stairs, and spare bedroom. And the laundry this boy can pile up! How does he go through so much so quickly? And yes, he apparently has forgotten how to work a washer/dryer since living with me. So I may be crazy and a bit difficult at times, but my Seanie Burger-Butt is not always an absolute joy. So there!

Ok, so gas station dumb asses. As I finish filling up my gas tank this car pulls up behind me to take my spot when I leave. No problem except, I have another car in front of me, a car to the left whose driver is apparently taking his time inside the store, the gas tankers to the right. Stupid behind me parked so close that I can't back out. I'm wedged in with nowhere to go. Finally, behind-me guy starts to back up, but he does so a teeny tiny amount at a time, barely giving me enough room to move. When I finally do free my car from this tangled mess and as I start to pull straight forward, the dipshit who was behind me decides to zoom in front of my car (almost hitting me) so he can pull up to the gas tank. Yeah, buddy because had you followed proper order and let me drive out, that whole two seconds would have really slowed ya down. What is wrong with people? Of course, I was compelled to give him the evil Lisa glare and point my finger disapprovingly. That'll teach him! Shh, just let me delude myself.

In other news...ahh, the family drama ensues. I started filling Sean in at one point and barely got halfway through the story before he made me stop. He can't handle all the insanity and rudeness that can be my family (well, some of them..not my sweetie pie sis or wonderful Aunt C). Apparently, my grandmother thinks I'm just evil and hateful because I am not inviting my other Aunt to the wedding since her and I have never got along, she's a manipulative/self-centered person, and has in no way been ever been caring or supportive towards me. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate her. I just have no use for her and vice versa. Also, I don't feel the need to be phony or keep up false pretenses by faking niceness towards her. I don't do that in my normal daily life. So why would I do it on my wedding day? Why would I invite her and subject myself to tension and discomfort? No, no, no! That makes no sense to me. My sis is convinced my grams will go behind my back and invite evil Aunt. There's definitely a strong possibility that she'd do something like that. At this point, we'll just wait and see. However, if I have to kick a little ass on my wedding day and shove out a few party crashers, well then that's what I'll do.


Blogger Zube Girl said...

Do not forget that it's your wedding day! I'll tell you from experience that not eating and throwing up what little I managed to ingest a week before my wedding were not worth it.

Make yourself happy. My cousin once said it best, "The worst wedding you'll ever go to is your own. Not because you don't want to get married, but because you're so busy trying to keep everyone else happy, you forget to have a good time." :-) Don't do that to yourself!

7/29/2005 9:49 AM  
Blogger West Coast Mia said...

Good advice up there. Don't worry Lis I will talk to grams and make sure there won't be any side invites. I am so on your side with this. It is all about you baby. :-)
I love you!!!

7/29/2005 10:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


poor poor lis..i too hide crap to no's amazing how you can love someone so much and KNOW that they're really smarter than they act sometimes. i.e. taking apple jacks and saying they didn't know you were saving them...that right there deserves a beat down :P . the shoes and clothes thing..yeah happens at my house too..i won't get started on remote controls...asshat at the gas station..don't you just LOVE people?! NOT..sorry about your grams/aunt/wedding situation ... invite her but send her to my address and i'll take her to downtown salt lake, point her to the big building with the gold dude on top and say "it's in there" and drive off, would that help? :P ..don't stress too much about's your day *hugs*

7/29/2005 7:25 PM  
Blogger LaLa Lisa said...

Zube- That is excellent advice and you know what, I'm so going to try and take it. :)

Mia- Go get her Mad Woman Mia! Ha. I had a "talk" with her last night. I'll tell you about next time we chat.

Bethers- Ahh, so perhaps theft is in the male genes? Haha! Yes, people do suck the big one sometimes! And I'm making a note to send out a second set of "fake" invitations to those I don't like so that they can contend with Bad Ass Bethers!

7/30/2005 11:33 AM  

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