Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Embarrassing Moments & Lack of Grace Exemplified

So my feisty Latin fireball of a grandmother nurtured two things in me growing up:
1)An addiction to all CBS soap operas and General Hospital (*swoon* sexy Sonny….*swoon* yummy shirtless Nicolas)
2)Watching far too many episodes of Unsolved Mysteries with the host with the super creepy voice. Being the crazy lady that I am this leads to me hearing his voice in my head whenever I’m walking through a creepy deserted area or a parking lot or some place where someone could pop out from the bushes and kidnap you. Yes, I really have these paranoid thoughts. Thanks Grams!
So yesterday evening I’m walking from the student parking lot to class. I have to pass by a couple of dorm buildings that are currently a ghost town since as it is summer. There’s this little hallway I walk by that would be a perfect hiding spot for someone who wanted to mug a person or just scare the crap out of them. So each time as I walk by it I can hear creepy host voice in my head. However, yesterday during this ritual I suddenly heard a rustling noise and movement coming from a garbage can I was passing. It surprised me and I proceeded to let out a very high-pitched girly scream. Just my luck this happened at one of the rare times when there were people around. What was their reaction? Well, of course they laughed at the nut job who was pathetic enough to be frightened by the fuzzy wuzzy cute squirrel that popped out of the garbage can. Hey, the squirrel could have posed a real threat. Maybe he had rabies and was plotting to infect me! It could happen. Of course, I called Sean to tell him about my embarrassing mishap and he proceeded to laugh non-stop. What’s a girl gotta do to get some respect? Sheesh!

Monday’s Moment of Stupidity:
While looking for Mr.Jazz-Cat, whom I’m babysitting all week, I decided to check behind the television which happens to be near the hearth of the fireplace. In the process of doing this I hit the top of my head square on a nail that was sticking out from the fireplace. The nail was still there from when we hung our Christmas stockings. Luckily despite a decent-sized bump, minimal bleeding, a teeny tiny bald spot and leaving a fair amount of DNA on the head of the nail, I survived. Mostly it was just my ego that was bruised. Hello McFly- head encountering nail = pain! Again, Sean laughed when I told him about this. I’m beginning to see a pattern. *frownie face*

I figured today had to be better, right? Well, first I use the wrong hair product so by mid-morning I am an official puff-puff head. My curls are a mass of frizzy poofiness. Oh, and did I mention my hair is purple? Yes, just call me Miss Afro-Puffs-Purple-Plum-Head. I dyed it over the weekend. The color was supposed to be True Red. What part of the name True Red implies that it would leave me looking like I have a big eggplant sitting on my head? Grrr! In an effort to make myself feel better I decided to wear my new sassy red shoes today. It worked well at first, I got many a compliments. My feet were feeling awfully darn cute! That is until mid-day when my feet suddenly began to feel bruised and blistered. Which led to me becoming the Limping Eggplant-Head Office Girl, as you can imagine, this is not a title I ever hoped to achieve.


Blogger West Coast Mia said...

Hey I feel your pain sis. Grams warped me too. I am compulsive about checking the locks on my doors and windows. I sleep with a weapon under my pillow when Steve is gone. This makes him laugh at me. No love here either. Before we moved to our new house I had a lock on our bedroom door. I used to round up the kids and lock them in the bedroom with me. Then Steve would come home and have to bang on the door until I woke up. Now we don't have a lock on our door so I had to get used to sleeping with it open. That took awhile let me tell you. Since I can't lock my door I have extra locks and sticks in every window of the house. We are also going to have an alarm installed some time in the future. My friends think I am insane but I don't care. :-)

6/14/2005 5:13 PM  
Blogger LaLa Lisa said...

*lol* Ahh, the insanity she managed to instill in us. Hehe! Pretty soon they're going to haul us off to some far off place with padded walls. I'm not sure if it'll be for our protection or the publics. Hehe! :)

Sticks in all the windows, eh? I might have to think about that. Are you going to bar your teenagers in too like you were subjected to? hahahaha

6/14/2005 5:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Robert Stack is the host's name...although now he's dead, so that could either creep you out more or less than it did before, ha ha...as for the rest of it *snorts trying to contain laughter*...i think i'll have to get back to you on that *LOL*


6/14/2005 9:16 PM  
Blogger LaLa Lisa said...

Hey now, I can hear your laughter from over here preggers! >:o[ A girl can't get any sympathy. *lol*

6/15/2005 7:20 AM  

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